“You know more about your patients than you do about your own family.”
Diane Keaton - Beth

“- Joe Finley: Doctors don't know everything.
- Ben Luckett: Well there is the one school of thought that says they don't know nothing.”
Hume Cronyn - Joe Finley
Wilford Brimley - Ben Luckett

“I guess the only way I can get a man to come to see me is to call a doctor.”
Beatrice Blinn - Mimi

“- Mrs. White: Oh, you're a doctor?
- Professor Plum: I am, but I don't practice.
- Miss Scarlet: Practice makes perfect. Ha! I think most men need a little practice, don't you Mrs. Peacock?”
Madeline Kahn - Mrs. White
Chris Lloyd - Professor Plum
Lesley Ann Warren - Miss Scarlet

“My doctor totally messes up my nose job. I ask him to make me looked like Gwyneth Paltrow, I get off the surgery table looking life freakin' Shrek.”
Shawn Wayans - Kevin Copeland