“- Maxie Devine: Where did you get that haircut? In the Army?
- Christopher Dubois: No, um... I'm a sailor.”
James Remar - Maxie Devine
Jean-Claude Van Damme - Christopher Dubois

“- John Patrick Mason: I want a suite, a shower, a shave, the feel of a suit.
- Stanley Goodspeed: May I also suggest a haircut?
- John Patrick Mason: Am I out of style?
- Stanley Goodspeed: Unless you're a 20 year old guitarist from Seattle. It's a grunge thing.”

Sir Sean Connery - John Patrick Mason
Nicolas Cage - Stanley Goodspeed

“I don't want to know nothing. I never saw you throw that gentleman off the balcony. All I care about is: are you happy with your haircut?”

Anthony Clark - Paul the Hotel Barber

“- Sean Dawkins: How's my hair look? Finesse?
- Gordie Boggs: Bro, you're driving a truck full of ass juice. I wouldn't worry about your hair.”
Scott Caan - Sean Dawkins
David Arquette - Gordie Boggs

“- Warren: My hair doesn't grow long enough to swoop it over. Besides, I think when you see a guy with his hair swooped over, you know he's doing it to cover up something.
-Larry: Yeah, if a guy has a lot of hair, he's not gonna swoop it over.”
Charles Grodin - Warren
Steve Martin - Larry