“- Donald Kimball: What whole Yale thing?
- Patrick Bateman: Well, for one thing, I think he was probably a closet homosexual who did a lot of cocaine. That whole Yale thing.”
Willem Dafoe - Donald Kimball
Christian Bale - Patrick Bateman

- Jack: What is it the comedian says when his jokes are going well? "I murdered that audience", "I killed 'em". "They screamed", "I broke 'em up".
- Sandy Bates: Yeah. So, what are you saying? Are you saying that someone like myself or Laurel and Hardy or Bob Hope are furious?
- Jack: Furious or latent homosexual.
John Rothman - Jack Abel
Woody Allen - Sandy Bates

- Silas P. Silas: Shit, I'll fucks witcha!
- Jamal King: Shit, I'll fucks witcha, too!
- Philip Huntley: And that's a good thing?
- Jamal King: Yes. That's a "yes"!
- Philip Huntley: Then we'll 'fox' with each other.

Method Man - Silas P. Silas
Redman - Jamal King
Fred Willard - Philip Huntley

“- Silas P. Silas: This class is fucking boring I'm out of here.
- Dean Carl Cain: Uh, excuse me did I hear you say something?
- Silas P. Silas: With all do respect sir, suck my dick.”
Method Man - Silas P. Silas
Obba Babatundé - Dean Carl Cain

“- Jack O'Callahan: Why'd you wanna play college hockey?
- Ralph Cox: Isn't it obvious? For the girls.”
Michael Mantenuto - Jack O'Callahan