“- Chester Greenburg: How wasted were we last night?
- Jesse Montgomery III: Well, I touched Christy Boner's hoo-hoo, were on the hook for two hundred thousand dollars to a transsexual stripper, and my car's gone. I'd say we were pretty wasted.”
Seann William Scott - Chester Greenburg
Ashton Kutcher - Jesse Montgomery III

“- Emmy Brown: Good night.
- Georges Iscovescu: It's better than good! Somehow, these walls will not seem so empty inside. You will be here very close to me. Breathing in the same night.”
Olivia Mary de Beauvoir de Havilland - Emmy Brown
Charles Boyer - Georges Iscovescu

“- Lt. Joe Rossi: These nights are killers, aren't they?
- Cadet Ezra Parker: Yeah, I lie in my bunk with my clothes on and try to sleep, but every time that engine slows, my heart speeds up. In time, I think I can train myself to have an iron nerve, like you have.”
Humphrey Bogart - Lt. Joe Rossi
Dick Hogan - Cadet Ezra Parker

“The streets were dark with something more than night.”
Edward G. Robinson - Professor Richard Wanley

“The nightmare began on a day like any other. Actually, that would make it a daymare, but I digress.”
Patrick Warburton - Kronk