“How are you this close to being dragged to hell and still horny?”
William Jackson Harper - Chidi Anagonye

“Alan Harper-You're going to hell, you know?
Charlie Harper-I don't think so. I believe in a loving God who forgives little fibs as long as they lead to recreational sex.
Alan Harper-You really wanna drag God into this?
Charlie Harper-Who gave me the penis, Alan?
”
Charlie Sheen - Charlie Harper
Jon Cryer - Alan Harper

“It had not been edifying, indeed not, being in this hellhole and human zoo for two years now, being kicked and tolchocked by brutal warders, and meeting leering criminals and perverts, ready to dribble all over a luscious young malchick like your storyteller.”
Malcom McDowell - Alex (A Clockwork Orange)

“- Hospital Administrator: What are you doing this morning?
- Obstetrician: It's a birth.
- Hospital Administrator: And what sort of thing is that?
- Dr. Spencer: Well, that's where we take a new baby out of a lady's tummy.
- Hospital Administrator: Wonderful what we can do nowadays.”
Michael Palin - Hospital Administrator
Graham Arthur Chapman - Obstetrician
Graham Arthur Chapman - Dr. Spencer

“Why would I shoot a bloke, then drive him to the bloody car and wizz him off to the hospital at a hundred miles an hour? It defeats the purpose of having shot him in the first place.”
Eric Bana - Mark Brandon 'Chopper' Read