My mom's gonna kill me. I'm the first one to go to college in my family and when I left she said "Weensie, if you screw this up, I'll kill you". She showed me the knife.

Jerod Mixon - Weensie

“Don't be talkin' bout my momma!”
Todd Bosley - Jake Berman

“I put a gun to my father's head once. Ever think like that? He was passed out. Had just been yelling at my mom over nothing. Under-cooked meat. I went to my room, I held the barrel right up to his ear, and then I chickened out again. Of course it was a BB gun but still it would have hurt like hell.”
Kevin Kline - George Monroe

My mother said to me: "When your father gets home, he's going to shoot you in the face with a bazooka! And I'm not going to stop him this time, either! You know, he's always wanted to kill you! The day you were born, he said: kill it! I stopped him from killing you for eleven years... and this is the thanks I get for saving your life!".
Bill Cosby - Bill Cosby

“Your mother'll be so proud of you, I'll be proud of you, too. The whole circus'll be proud of you.”

Edward Brophy - Timothy Q. Mouse