“There's only two ways to handle women... and nobody knows what they are.”
George Cleveland - Bill Yard

“I woke up one morning, and when I looked in the mirror I noticed my nose was bent over entirely onto one side of my face. So, I got a hammer, and started banging my nose back to a right angle with my face. Suddenly, I looked at myself in the mirror, hammer in hand, blood streaming down my chin, and I realized my life was no longer manageable.”
M. Emmet Walsh - Richard Dirks

“Killed him with a hairdryer... Way to use the resources you had handy!”
David Cross - Andy

“- Moe Tilden: My jurisdiction ends, in a sense, at the George Washington Bridge. But half the men I watch live beyond that bridge, where no one's watching.
- Sheriff Freddy Heflin: I'm watching.”
Robert De Niro - Moe Tilden
Sylvester Stallone - Freddy Heflin

“My dad always drives my mum, so that means I gotta ride you!”
Glenndon Chatman - Young Quincy