“- David Shaw: We're in love, sir.
- Steven Taylor: That's it? You steal the crown jewel of a man's soul, and your only excuse is some candy ass Hallmark card sentiment? Even if it were true, that's not good enough!”

Viggo Mortensen - David Shaw
Michael Douglas - Steven Taylor

“I just had to tie my wife down to the bed. I've never done anything like that before, well except for that one time when the kids were at camp.”
Thom Sharp - Braydon Aglet

“- Dr. Ben Sobel: Why do you have a girlfriend?
- Paul Vitti: I do things with her I can't do with my wife.
- Dr. Ben Sobel: Why can't you do them with your wife?
- Paul Vitti: That's the mouth she kisses my kids goodnight with! What are you, crazy?”
Billy Crystal - Dr. Ben Sobel
Robert De Niro - Paul Vitti

“What is wrong with a man wanting his wife and his wife's best friend to lick his dick at the same time?”
Coati Mundi - Caller #8 - Martin

“- Alley Thug: You're real cool for somebody who's about to take a bullet.
- Joe Hallenbeck: After fucking your wife I'll take two.”
Badja Djola - Alley Thug
Bruce Willis - Joe Hallenbeck