“- Coach Calhoun: All right, let's trying cutting it to two packs a day. Now, you have to change.
- Danny: Well, yeah. That's why I'm here, ya know? To change.
- Coach Calhoun: No, I mean your clothes.
- Danny: Oh.”

Sid Caesar - Coach Calhoun
John Travolta - Danny

“- Gail Stanwyk: I really should change.
- Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: No! I think you should stay the same wonderful person you are today.
- Gail Stanwyk: I mean, put clothes on.”
Dana Wheeler-Nicholson - Gail Stanwyk
Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher

“- Alice: Just change your pants, George.
- George: I'm gonna change my pants, Alice. But if I change my pants, I gotta change my jacket! If I change my jacket, I gotta change my shirt! If I change my shirt, I gotta change my tie! I gotta change my belt! I gotta change my shoes! I gotta change my socks!
- Alice: Just change your pants, George.”
Bonnie Hunt - Alice Newton
Charles Grodin - George Newton

“Damn girl... I didn't know Nike made dresses.”
Gabrielle Union - Shawnee

- Purse Snatcher: Jesus, lady! All this for just a hand bag?
- Kevin Copeland: It's not "just" a hand bag. It's Prada!
Marshall Virtue - Purse Snatcher
Shawn Wayans - Kevin Copeland