“- Carole Genest: You think if you went to college things would have turned out different with her?
- Jesse Stone: Probably not, but I would have gotten an education.
- Carole Genest: From her or from school?
- Jesse Stone: Both.”

Liisa Repo-Martell - Carole Genest
Tom Selleck - Jesse Stone

“I didn't go to college. I don't know anybody who did. Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen.”
Danny DeVito - Mr. Wormwood

“- Phil Davis: All right, they didn't go to college. They didn't go to Smith.
- Bob Wallace: Go to Smith? She couldn't even spell it.”
Danny Kaye - Phil Davis
Bing Crosby - Bob Wallace

- Carol: Careful, Mike. he's got a gun.
- Roy: I don't need a gun to take care of you. I am going to kick your Brady butt.
- Cindy: He said the "B" word!
Shelley Lee Long - Carol Brady
Tim Matheson - Roy Martin
Olivia Hack - Cindy Brady

- Silas P. Silas: Shit, I'll fucks witcha!
- Jamal King: Shit, I'll fucks witcha, too!
- Philip Huntley: And that's a good thing?
- Jamal King: Yes. That's a "yes"!
- Philip Huntley: Then we'll 'fox' with each other.

Method Man - Silas P. Silas
Redman - Jamal King
Fred Willard - Philip Huntley