“I didn't go to college. I don't know anybody who did. Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen.”
Danny DeVito - Mr. Wormwood

“Look, Miss Snit, a girl does not get anywhere by acting intelligent! I mean, take a look at you and me. You chose books, I chose looks. I have a nice house, a wonderful husband and you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABCs.”
Rhea Perlman - Mrs. Wormwood

“To have a brain, it's not a sin. To have a brain and not use it, that is a sin.”
Armin Mueller-Stahl - Doc

“- President Camacho: Now I understand everyone's shit's emotional right now. But I've got a 3 point plan that's going to fix everything.
- Congressman: Break it down, Camacho!
- President Camacho: Number 1: We've got this guy Not Sure. Number 2: He's got a higher IQ than any man alive. And number 3: He's going to fix everything.”
Terry Crews - President Camacho
Christopher M. Campos - Congressman

“- Rita: You think Einstein walked around thinkin' everyone was a bunch of dumb shits?
- Joe Bowers: Yeah. Hadn't thought of that.
- Rita: Now you know why he built that bomb.”
Maya Rudolph - Rita
Luke Wilson - Joe Bauers