“- Seth: Dude you shouldn't have parked there.
- Evan: Man I'm about to graduate, they should be sucking on my ballsack, that’s the least they can do for stealing 4 years of my life.”

Jonah Hill - Seth
Michael Cera - Evan

“- Mrs. Murphy: What did you learn in school today?
- Dade: Revenge.”
Alberta Watson - Lauren Murphy
Jonny Lee Miller - Dade

“Dear Governor Axtell. I've heard that you will give 200 dollars for my head. Perhaps we should meet and talk. I am at the Juarez village at the border. Send three men, and instruct them not to shoot, as I am unarmed. In short, Sir; I surrender. Your obedient servant William H. Bonney. PS: I changed my mind. Kiss my ass!”
Emilio Estevez - William H. 'Billy the Kid' Bonney

“- Felix Ungar: Look, we have to have a plan, agreed?
- Oscar Madison: Agreed.
- Felix Ungar: Okay. What do you think the plan should be?
- Oscar Madison: I don't care. I agreed. I did my part.”
Jack Lemmon - Felix Ungar
Walter Matthau - Oscar Madison

“- Pete: Man this job sucks.
- Linc: Beats jail.
- Julie: A deal's a deal.”
Giovanni Ribisi - Pete
Omar Epps - Linc
Claire Danes - Julie