“- Ernest: This is great! This is just like that John Wayne movie when he and Sundance were in Bulgaria.
- Abner: Bolivia. They were in Bolivia. Wait a minute... they were killed in Bolivia.
- Ernest: Well, maybe they should've stayed in Bulgaria.”
Jim Varney - Ernest
Ron James - Abner

- Doug Masters: They look about 15, 16-years-old.
- Col. Charles "Chappy" Sinclair: That's right. All of them.
- Doug Masters: So I don't know why you're so upset, Chappy. What makes them different than me?
- Col. Charles "Chappy" Sinclair: Because they're dead, all of them.

Jason Gedrick - Doug Masters
Louis Gossett Jr. - Charles "Chappy" Sinclair

“- Char: Why'd they leave?
- Zane Zaminski: They didn't leave.
- Char: How do you know?
- Zane Zaminski: Because we aren't dead yet.”

Teri Polo - Char
Charlie Sheen - Zane Zaminsky

“In Russia now we say there are only 2 kinds people, those who leave in private jet, and those who leave in coffin.”
Ben Kingsley - Grinko

“- Danskin: Shut up! What the hell is the matter with you?
- John Converse: I don't know. But pretty soon I'm either going to be away from you, or dead. And either way, it's fine with me.”

Richard Masur - Danskin
Michael Moriarty - John Converse