- Armand Goldman: What are you giving him drugs for? What the hell are Pirin tablets?
- Agador: It's aspirin with the "A" and the "S" scraped off.
- Armand Goldman: My God, what a brilliant idea!
Robin Williams - Armand Goldman
Hank Azaria - Agador

“- Shaun: Listen to me, I need Bob's pain pills!
- Lance: Bob doesn't have any pain pills.
- Shaun: Yes he does!
- Lance: Not anymore, I sold them.”
Colin Hanks - Shaun Brumder
Jack Black - Lance Brumder

“Swanney taught us to adore and respect the national health service. For it was the source of much of our gear. We stole drugs. We stole prescriptions or bought them, sold them, swapped them, forged them, photocopied them. Or traded drugs with cancer victims, alcoholics, old-age pensioners, AIDS patients, epileptics, and bored housewives.”
Ewan Gordon McGregor - Mark Renton

“We gave her what we call ALZ-112, a gene therapy that allows the brain to create its own cells in order to repair itself. In biology, this is called neurogenesis. Here at GenSys, we call it a cure to Alzheimer's.”

James Franco - Will Rodman

“Valium, prozac, and ritalin. Breakfast of champions.”
Christopher Lambert - Lou