“When a girl tells you how many guys she's slept with, multiply it by three and that's the real number. Didn't you fuckers learn anything in college?”
Seann William Scott - Stifler

“We're all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us.”
Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein

“Think about it Josh, you're in college. The window of opportunity to drink and do drugs and take advantage of young girls is getting smaller by the day.”
Seann William Scott - E. L.

“You went to college to drink beer, play football, and get laid. None of this academic shit.”

Ed Lauter - Buzz

“- Jimmy Reardon: Do you want to give up? Is that what you're trying to tell me?
- Fred Roberts: That's right...
- Jimmy Reardon: Fine. Go to Harvard a virgin! But what are you gonna do when they ask you how many times you've scored? Those ivy league schools send out questionaires on that kinda stuff you know.
- Fred Roberts: I'll lie.”
River Phoenix - Jimmy Reardon
Matthew Perry - Fred Roberts