“- Buyer: I tell you what, I'll give you 1,500 for everything.
- Don: 1,500? Come on, man. This stuff holds a lot of sentimental value.
- Buyer: To who?
- Don: To the poeple I stole it from.
- Buyer: I don't care about them. 1,500.”
Danny McBride - Don

“- Rudy Steiner: You're stealing books? Why?
- Liesel Meminger: When life robs you, sometimes you have to rob it back.”
Nico Liersch - Rudy Steiner
Sophie Nélisse - Liesel Meminger

“So you think your book is worth a human life?”
Isabella Rossellini - Marella Agnelli

“- Joan Stupid: Oh dear I left the garbage out over night.
- Stanley Stupid: Oh no. Someone's stolen our garbage again.”
Jessica Lundy - Joan Stupid
Tom Arnold - Stanley Stupid

“- Policeman: This postal ploy of yours is the most evil caper of our age, Mr. Sender. How will you ever top yourself?
- Evil Sender: With a crime so unthinkable that no-one has ever dared to attempt to attempt it: to rob an entire nation of its garbage.
- Policeman: The one resource no-one ever thinks to protect!”
Scott Kraft - Policeman
Sir Christopher Lee - Evil Sender