“- Anne: I can't, I'm on the zone.
- Roland Sharp: What zone?
- Anne: The proper combination of protein, fat and carbohydrates.
- Roland Sharp: This combination here is proper as hell.”

Christina Milian - Anne
Tommy Lee Jones - Roland Sharp

“- Det. Barzak: What the fuck is that shit?
- Det. Hazeltine: Yogurt, yeast paste, lecithin; all the things you ought to be eating. Want some?
- Det. Barzak: No way, man. I'm on a low-mucous diet. You know that.”
Robert Carradine - Det. Barzak
Billy Dee Williams - Det. Hazeltine

“- Courtney: Why does everyone have to go on a diet?
- Sparky Polastri: Because in cheerleading we throw people into the air. And fat people don't go as high.”
Clare Kramer - Courtney
Ian Roberts - Sparky Polastri

“- Alexia: Today is definitely day one.
- Hayley: Day one of what?
- Alexia: My diet. Oh, excuse me. I mean your diet. A fruit and veggie fast. You're bloated.”

Katherine Heigl - Alexia Wheaton
Danielle Harris - Hayley Wheaton

“- Grandpa Gustafson: Last Thursday, I turned 95 years old. And I never exercised a day in my life. Every morning, I wake up, and I smoke a cigarette. And then I eat five strips of bacon. And for lunch, I eat a bacon sandwich. And for a midday snack?
- John Gustafson: Bacon.
- Grandpa Gustafson: Bacon!”
Burgess Meredith - Grandpa Gustafson
Jack Lemmon - John Gustafson