“When a man pulls shit on me he is either very brave or very stoned.”
Clarence Williams III - Bobby Shy

“- Grandmother: No one acts this way when they are not on drugs...
- Elizabeth: I fucking do!”

Sheila Paterson - Grandmother
Christina Ricci - Elizabeth

- David "Beano" Baggot: Are you still a road dog, Hughie?
- Hughie: Nah. The last tour I did was ten years ago. It was Aerosmith, but they've gone and cleaned up their act. It's all wheatgrass juice and fuckin' pumpkin seeds. I hope you guys are still crazy, or I'm outta here.
Timothy Spall - David "Beano" Baggot
Billy Connolly - Hughie

- Lehman: There's a new order, I should say "Heil Hiter", but I won't, not to you.
- Professor Victor Roth: Thank you, Lehman.
- Lehman: That is, unless some of the other gentlemen are present, or the students.
William Edmunds - Lehman
Frank Morgan - Professor Viktor Roth

“- Mr. Wheat: What's your hurry, my brother?
- Dexter Reed: My hurry is it's now officially summer vacation and yet I'm still looking at you.
- Mr. Wheat: You're an amazing student. I mean, you sit there and get your test done first, and you were concentrating so hard I thought you were sleep.
- Dexter Reed: Next time make it more challenging.”
Sinbad - Mr. Wheat
Kenan Thompson - Dexter Reed