“- Elzora: Some things are better left unsaid.
- Mozelle Batiste Delacroix: I paid you a dollar, old woman. Now tell my fortune.
- Elzora: I don't need no cat bones to tell your fortune, Mozelle Batiste. You are a curse. The Black Widow. Next man that marries you is a dead man. Like the others. Always be that way.”
Diahann Carroll - Elzora
Debbi Morgan - Mozelle Batiste Delacroix

“- Lucy Chadman: Of course he may not be too thrilled to hear how No. 3 died.
- Jason Chadman: You mean... During...?
- Lucy Chadman: No. Just after. According to Kim he came and went.”

Shelley Lee Long - Lucy Chadman
Corbin Bernsen - Jason Chadman

“- Judy Benjamin: My husband had a heart attack and died on our wedding night, while we were making love.
- Pvt. Mary Lou Glass: Jesus! Benjamin! I don't get it, what do you do after a thing like that?
- Judy Benjamin: Join the Army!”
Goldie Hawn - Judy Benjamin
Mary Kay Place - Pvt. Mary Lou Glass

“- Wanda: He's like my third husband, he should rest in peace.
- Oscar Madison: How do you know he's dead? Maybe he's just bluffing.”
Rebecca Schull - Wanda, the Vixen
Walter Matthau - Oscar Madison

“- Joseph Newton: Things aren't as bad as that. The bank gave me a raise last January.
- Charlie Newton: Money. How can you talk about money when I'm talking about souls? We eat and sleep and that's about all. We don't even have any real conversations.”
Henry Travers - Joseph Newton
Teresa Wright - Charlie Newton