“- Adam: What we need is a higher female-to-male ratio, like in cool nightclubs, you know, where they let in five times as many women as men.
- Noah: How are we gonna get five times as many women to show up?
- Adam: We have a party but we call it a fundraiser.”
Zak Orth - Adam
Jimmi Simpson - Noah

- Frank: This guy comes up to me and he says: "l like my women like my coffee".
- Janice: People still use that line?
- Frank: Maybe he meant cold and bitter.
Joey Slotnick - Frank Chase
Mary Randle - Janice Walton

“Congratulations. On a scale of one to ten on the perversity meter, you just hit a seventy-three.”

Geoffrey Rush - Stephen Price

“- Alice: We don't even have an apartment. How can we have a dinner party?
- Charlotte: Well, its another incentive to get one.”
Chloë Sevigny - Alice
Kate Beckinsale - Charlotte

“- Phil Deedle: Why can't we have a birthday off like everyone else?
- Elton Deedle: Who's everyone else?
- Stew Deedle: Washington, Lincoln... the baby JesusDad!”
Paul William Walker IV - Phil Deedle
Eric Braeden - Elton Deedle
Steve Van Wormer - Stew Deedle