“- Tom: Are you going to tell me what really happened with Peter?
- Sarah: Are you going to tell me what really happened with red bra?
- Tom: Nothing happened.
- Sarah: I hope you used a condom.
- Tom: I hope Peter used a condom.
- Sarah: I'm sorry, they don't make condoms that big.”
Ashton Kutcher - Tom
Brittany Murphy - Sarah

“- Austin Powers: Only sailors use condoms, baby.
- Vanessa Kensington: Not in the 90's, Austin.
- Austin Powers: Well they should, those filthy beggars. They go from port to port.”
Mike Myers - Austin Powers
Liz Hurley - Vanessa Kensington

- Shazzer: Oh, God! You didn't use those? The vegan condoms?
- Bridget Jones: "Biodegradable and dolphin-friendly". If I'm going to be slutty, it's nice to think I'm helping the environment.
Sally Phillips - Shazzer
Renee Zellweger - Bridget Jones

- Brian: God bless you.
- Larry Gigli: Thank you.
- Brian: No, not you, stupid. When my penis sneezes, I say "God bless you, penis".
Justin Bartha - Brian
Ben Affleck - Larry Gigli

“That's why these lesbians are always going out and buyin', spendin' all their dough on sexual appliances and erotic monkey wrenches and shit, tryin' to compensate for what they don't have... the penis.”
Ben Affleck - Larry Gigli