It was only a couple weeks later she suggested getting married. I said, "Don't you want to get to know me more?". She said, "Why? Does it get better?".

Billy Bob Thornton - Ed Crane

“You never call him. But if he calls you you talk to him, then act like you have another call, keep him on hold for a long time. Like longer than you think is passable. And break dates. After he's additcted, cut him off. That's when you got him.”

Bridgette Wilson-Sampras - Lisa Cramer

“- Halley Martin: I think I like you too much already to actually go out with you.
- Macon Forrester: What kind of logic is that?
- Halley Martin: It's logical logic. Haven't you ever noticed that when two members of the opposite sex get together eventually someone ends up getting hurt?”
Mandy Moore - Halley Martin
Trent Ford - Macon Forrester

“- Jane Spencer: I feel like such a fool. I should have never doubted you.
- Lt. Frank Drebin: There, there. You had no way of knowing the man you were dating was a vicious, murdering sociopath.”
Priscilla Presley - Jane Spencer
Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin

“- Mel: Have you even known the joys of having children?
- Richie: Never had a date.
- Clark: Never talked to a girl.”
Jon Lovitz - Mel
David Spade - Richie
Jon Heder - Clark