“- Jane Spencer: I feel like such a fool. I should have never doubted you.
- Lt. Frank Drebin: There, there. You had no way of knowing the man you were dating was a vicious, murdering sociopath.”
Priscilla Presley - Jane Spencer
Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin

“Ed, have you noticed that the older you get, the younger your girlfriends get? Soon you'll be dating sperm.”
Billy Crystal - Mitch Robbins

“- Lauren: I'm going out. I'm dating. I'm having fun.
- Trish: You date but you're not taking it seriously.”
Reese Witherspoon - Lauren
Chelsea Handler - Trish

- Deanne McKenzie: How about I take you out for a date night every Thursday?
- Kurt McKenzie: Well, Thursday night is "Grey's Anatomy", but any other night would be great.
Maya Rudolph - Deanne McKenzie
Chris Rock - Kurt McKenzie

It was only a couple weeks later she suggested getting married. I said, "Don't you want to get to know me more?". She said, "Why? Does it get better?".

Billy Bob Thornton - Ed Crane