“- Jake Wyler: Who's that?
- Janey Briggs: It's my mother.
- Jake Wyler: You have her eyes.”

Chris Evans - Jake Wyler
Chyler Leigh - Janey Briggs

“- Rocks: Ma! Check it out! I got these things on my face to open. I can see! I can see... wrinkly butts. Yuck!
- Rocks' Mother: They're not mine. They're your brothers' and sisters'.
- Rocks: Good. That makes me the cute one.”
Danny DeVito - Rocks

“- Craig Schwartz: I've fallen in love, and this is what people who've fallen in love look like.
- Maxine Lund: Well, you picked the unrequited variety. It's very bad for the skin.”
John Cusack - Craig Schwartz
Catherine Keener - Maxine Lund

“- Fairy Godmother: Do you really think he fell in love with your fancy gown and your pretty braids?
- Cinderella: I don't know anymore and if you hadn't help me.
- Fairy Godmother: You didn't need my help. You just thought you did. Believe in yourself and trust him to love you as you really are.”
Whitney Houston - Fairy Godmother
Brandy Norwood - Cinderella

“My ex-husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should've taken a second look.”
Mia Farrow - Halley Reed