“- Joan: Romance just doesn't seem real to me anymore.
- Gloria: Real? You don't write real, you write about people that sail off into the god damn sunset.
- Joan: Well, what about the next day, when the sun comes up?
- Gloria: There is no next day! That's why it's a romance. You've got to stop confusing real life with a romantic novel!”
Kathleen Turner - Joan
Holland Taylor - Gloria

“- Rusty Griswold: Dad, I think he's gonna pork her.
- Clark Griswold: He's not gonna pork her, Russ.
- Rusty Griswold: I think he's gonna.
- Clark Griswold: He may pork her, finish your breakfast.”

Jason Lively - Rusty Griswold
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Jenny: I seriously think it's time for you to move on and stop this broken-heart stuff.
- Rick Rambis: All right. So... you wanna hook up?
- Jenny: You're gonna have to try a lot harder than that, Rick.
- Rick Rambis: Soooo... you still wanna hook up?”
A.J. Cook - Jenny
Jason London - Rick Rambis

“- Oz Oseransky: I swear, I am not gonna let anybody kill you.
- Cynthia: Under the circumstances, I think that's probably the most romantic thing anyone's ever said to me.
- Oz Oseransky: Thanks.”
Matthew Perry - Oz Oseransky
Natasha Henstridge - Cynthia

“- Ruby Vale: What do I know about writing? You know, I read flying manuals.
- Jack Willis: Rube, this is a trashy romance novel.
- Ruby Vale: You said it was romantic.
- Jack Willis: Whatever. Anyway, blokes aren't meant to write them.”
Claudia Karvan - Ruby Vale
Hugh Jackman - Jack Willis