“- Cosmo Topper: I came over here to look for it.
- Police Detective Roberts: How did you know it was here?
- Cosmo Topper: She told me.
- Police Detective Roberts: She? Who's she?
- Cosmo Topper: The dead girl.”

Roland Young - Cosmo Topper
Donald MacBride - Police Detective Roberts

- "Wishy": If I'm the one that gets killed, get twenty-five beautiful girls to walk around me.
- "Doc": Why?
- "Wishy": If I don't get up, then you know I'm dead.
Lou Costello - "Wishy"
Bud Abbott - "Doc"

“You know, guys, I never expected to die like this. I thought I'd meet a nice girl, settle down, and then she'd eat my head.”
Seth Rogen - Mantis

“Sooner or later everybody dies. It's too bad I am sooner.”

George Tobias - Rosario

“Today's D-Day. Death day. I'm supposed to be dead today. From now on, I'm living on borrowed time.”
Michael Keaton - Bob Jones