“- Freddy Nefler: You'll be much less neurotic if your parents are happily divorced, rather than unhappily married.
- Phyllis Nefler: Thank you, Phil Donahue.
- Freddy Nefler: I saw it on Oprah!”
Craig T. Nelson - Freddy Nefler
Shelley Lee Long - Phyllis Nefler

“- Jack Byrnes: We use the Ferber method.
- Bernie Focker: We use the Focker method. We hugged and kissed that little boy like there was no tomorrow. We Fockerized him.”
Robert De Niro - Jack Byrnes
Dustin Hoffman - Bernie Focker

“- Dr. Molly Griswold: You've come for therapy? Okay, look, Roy, you know, you really need to make an appointment. Because I have a client in a half an hour.
- Roy McAvoy: That's enough time. Thirty minutes? Hell, I'm not that fucked up.”
Rene Russo - Dr. Molly Griswold
Kevin Costner - Roy McAvoy

“For one reason or another I'm more screwed up than you people are.”

Bruce Willis - Bill Capa

“You are so lucky you don't know who your parents are.”

Anne Hathaway - Mia Thermopolis