“Slick, how come every time you get drunk it costs me money?”
Anthony Michael Hall - Whitey Ford

“- Arthur Bach: Yesterday I sold some blood at a hospital.
- Hobson: Hospital? I should've thought a local distillery would have paid you much more.”
Dudley Moore - Arthur Bach
Sir John Gielgud - Hobson

“- Stiggs: What do you, like, do?
- Pat Coletti: Basically, I drink. And I make a lot of money.
- Stiggs: I mean, what kind of work do you do, that you can do, really wasted?
- Pat Coletti: Hog couture, boys.
- Stiggs: Hog couture? How's that?
- Pat Coletti: I manufacture clothes for fat women.”
Neill Barry - Stiggs
Martin Mull - Pat Coletti

“Start 'em off with a single, then a double, then a triple, then back to a double, and back to a single. You want 'em drunk enough to get their credit card then sober enough to sign the check.”
Jennifer Lopez - Ramona

“One thing I could never stand was to see a filthy, dirty old drunkie, howling away at the filthy songs of his fathers and going blurp in between as it might be a filthy old orchestra in his stinking, rotten guts.”
Malcom McDowell - Alex (A Clockwork Orange)