“- Chubbs: What are you doing?
- Happy Gilmore: 364 days until next year's hockey tryouts, I have to toughen up.”

Carl Weathers - Chubbs
Adam Sandler - Happy Gilmore

“- Alonzo: All right, when's the last time you did a felony stop?
- Jake: Uh, couple weeks ago?
- Alonzo: Good, you needpractice.
- Jake: They look like collegekids.
- Alonzo: They're gonna get their education today.”

Denzel Washington - Alonzo
Ethan Hawke - Jake

“I know your a good football player. You may even be great. And I am gonna push you until we find out.”
The Rock - Sean Porter

“I know I'm old enough to be his mother, but when the Duck laid that kiss on me last night, I swear my thighs just went up in flames! He must practice on melons or something.”
Annie Potts - Iona

“My job is to basically beat the shit out of you for the next 5 days, and whoever is still standing at the end, maybe we'll use for our scout teams. You'll be running the oppositions plays week in and week out. The greatest value to us is we don't care whether you get hurt.”

John Beasley - Coach Warren