“I'm sick of these conventional marriages. One woman and one man was good enough for your grandmother, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Nobody, not even your grandfather.”
Groucho Marx - Captain Jeffrey Spaulding

“There are certain things in life that are sacred - sagradas - and we don't spit on them. Because, without them, it doesn't matter whether we live or die. Marriage is something that we don't spit on.”
Jenny Gago - Maria

“Ladies and gentlemen, and invited transgendered species. In my study of Terran and Betazoid conjugal rites, I have discovered it is traditional to present the happy couple with a gift.”

Brent Spiner - Data

“I ask you, what man will want to marry a girl who flits around rooftops, chasing chickens?”
Rosalind Chao - Li

“- Justine Last: Couple that prays together, stays together.
- Phil Last: I heard it was the couple that lays together, stays together.
- Justine Last: Well, you've heard wrong.”
Jennifer Aniston - Justine Last
John C. Reilly - Phil Last