“- Roxanne Chase-Feder: Excuse me, Princess Rita. Are you just gonna sit there or are you gonna help me?
- Rita: No, Mr. Feder said that I must study for the big final.
- Roxanne Chase-Feder: What final?
- Rita: You tell me, he just keeps handing me books.”

Salma Hayek - Roxanne Chase-Feder
Di Quon - Rita

“It's been a long time since someone wrote a really good book in jail.”
Michael Douglas - Prof. Grady Tripp

- Heywood: The Count of Monte Crisco...
- Floyd: That's "Cristo" you dumb shit.
- Heywood: ...by Alexandree Dumb-ass. Dumb-ass.
- Andy Dufresne: Dumb-ass? "Dumas". You know what it's about? You'll like it, it's about a prisonbreak.
- Ellis Boyd 'Red' Redding: We oughta file that under "Educational" too, oughten we?

William Sadler - Heywood
Brian Libby - Floyd
Tim Robbins - Andy Dufresne
Morgan Freeman - Ellis Boyd 'Red' Redding

"Me in Camp F"? What's this, a gayprison story?

Vic Reeves - Bendle

“I'm an engineer! I stopped running when Nixon was president!”
Donald Sutherland - Jerry O'Neill