“- Bikini Girl: Hi, guys. We're going on a national bikini tour, and we're looking for two oil boys who can grease us off before each competition.
- Harry Dunne: You are in luck! There's a town about three miles that way. I'm sure you'll find a couple guys there.”

Samantha Carpel - Bikini Girl
Jeff Daniels - Harry Dunne

“Year after year, twenty-something women come to New York City in search of the two L's: labels and love.”
Sarah Jessica Parker - Carrie Bradshaw

Every woman on the planet's a spy! Man, you guys can't even find Saddam Hussein! You know, if you told a woman, right now at 8:00 in the morning, that her husband was sleeping with Saddam Hussein, she'd be able to find Saddam by 8:00 that night, and say "Saddam, don't you ever come around my house no more!".
Chris Rock - Jake Hayes

“All my life, I look for a woman I once loved. Almond eyes, and the mouth of a cherub.”
Allan Corduner - Captain

“- Louis Simo: Whatever you want to say.
- Laurie Simo: Are you going to fight everybody?
- Louis Simo: I thought you liked tough guys.”
Adrien Brody - Louis Simo
Molly Parker - Laurie Simo