“I can't see it working for me. I never got the urge, you know? A lot of great-looking women in the world. I never met one made me wanna give up all the others.”

William Hurt - Richie Cusack

“- Lionel: Don't worry your majesties he'll meet someone tonight. I can feel it in my bones.
- Queen Constantina: You'll feel it in your bones if he doesn't.”
Jason Alexander - Lionel
Whoopi Goldberg - Queen Constantina

“- Beulah Blanton: Zack I have found the perfect woman for you! She's the most beautiful woman in town and she's available.
- Zack Blanton: Women die.”
Debbie Reynolds - Beulah Blanton
Sean Patrick Flanery - Zack Blanton

“- Ryan Harrison: Sit down, Pancakes. Of all the women in all the world, you had to walk into mine.
- Cass Lake: I'm sure if we just talk all night, we can work this out.”
Leslie William Nielsen - Ryan Harrison
Melinda McGraw - Cass Lake

“- Morgan Philip: But I think she might be a real princess!
- Robert Philip: Morgan honey, just because she has on a funny dress doesn't mean she's a princess.
She's a seriously confused woman who's fallen into our laps.”
Rachel Covey - Morgan Philip
Patrick Dempsey - Robert Philip