“You're a god damn saint, John. Pardon the vulgarity.”
Dustin Hoffman - Bernie LaPlante

“- Anita Miller: It's unfair that we can't listen to our music!
- Elaine Miller: That's because it's music about drugs and promiscuous sex.
- Anita Miller: Simon and Garfunkel is poetry!
- Elaine Miller: Yes it's poetry. It's poetry of drugs and promiscuous sex. Honey, they're on pot.”
Zooey Deschanel - Anita Miller
Frances McDormand - Elaine Miller

“- Jack Willis: You have to watch your mouth. No bloodys, buggers, Jesus...
- Ruby Vale: Fuck. If I can't say bugger or Jesus, what can I say?”

Hugh Jackman - Jack Willis
Claudia Karvan - Ruby Vale

“- Lila Dubois: You know what they say about cello players- they like to do it in a chair with their legs spread wide.
- Dylan Ramsey: Ma'am, we have a dog in our presence!”
Sophie Marceau - Lila Dubois
David Spade - Dylan Ramsey

“- Milly: Well, it wouldn't hurt you to learn some manners, too.
- Adam Pontipee: What do I need manners for? I already got me a wife.”
Jane Powell - Milly
Howard Keel - Adam Pontipee