“When I was sixteen, I went to work for a newspaper in Hong Kong. It was a rag, but the editor taught me one important lesson. The key to a great story is not who, or what, or when, but why.”
Jonathan Pryce - Elliot Carver

“- Mario: Are you spendin' money on this stuff? Look at this!
- Luigi: Yeah, but that's got the article about the missing Brooklyn girls in it.
- Mario: Yeah? It's also got one on the scientist who turns brains into cheese.”

Bob Hoskins - Mario Mario
John Leguizamo - Luigi Mario

“- Marion Sandusky: You made my wife cry when she reads the paper.
- Michael McDougal: At least she bought it, didn't she?”
Jason Alexander - Marion Sandusky
Randy Quaid - Michael McDougal

“As long as the press sees sex and drugs behind the left hand, you can park a battle carrier behind the right hand and no one's gonna fucking notice.”
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Gust Avrakotos

“It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.”
Jerry Seinfeld