“- Gny. Sgt. Hartman: How tall are you, private?
- Pvt. Cowboy: Sir, five-foot-nine, sir.
- Gny. Sgt. Hartman: Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that high!”
R. Lee Ermey - Gny. Sgt. Hartman
Arliss Howard - Pvt. Cowboy

“You think I don't appreciate art? You think I don't understand fashion? You think I'm not hip? You think I'm pathetic? A nerd? A lard-ass fat-so? You think I'm shit? Well, you're wrong, 'cause I'm champagne, and you're shit.”
Jon Lovitz - Andy Kornbluth

“The world is full of shit indeed.”
Thomas Jay Ryan - Henry Fool

“- Old Woman on Plane and Bus: I'm sorry. You have to speak up, son. I have this ringing in my ears. My doctor says it could be related to my heart palpitations.
- Beavis: Really? I poop too much.
- Old Woman on Plane and Bus: Maybe you're lactose intolerant.
- Beavis: I mean... No, no. I poop too much! And then I get tired.”
Cloris Leachman - Old Woman on Plane and Bus
Mike Judge - Beavis

“I'll probably shit blood tonight.”

Kevin Spacey - Verbal