“- Oscar Madison: I think I figured out where we are.
- Felix Ungar: Where?
- Oscar Madison: In a Clint Eastwood movie.”

Walter Matthau - Oscar Madison
Jack Lemmon - Felix Ungar

“This must be the place where they empty all the old hourglasses.”

Bob Hope - Orville "Turkey" Jackson

“Every man, woman, and child alive should see the desert one time before they die. Nothin' at all for miles around. Nothin' but sand and rocks and cactus and blue sky. Not a soul in sight.”
Brian Cox - James Brogan

“Keep driving till we find a nice little town. These towns out in the desert, you know why they got there? People wanted to get away from somewhere else. The desert's for startin' over.”
Brian Cox - James Brogan

“- Agent Dana Scully: Any thoughts as to why anybody would be growing corn in the middle of the desert?
- Agent Fox Mulder: Those could be giant Jiffy-Pop poppers.”
Gillian Anderson - Agent Dana Scully
David Duchovny - Agent Fox Mulder