“- Psychiatrist: Tell me, Harold, what do you do for fun? What activity gives you a different sense of enjoyment from the others? Uh, what do you find fulfilling? What gives you that... special satisfaction?
- Harold: I go to funerals.”
G. Wood - Psychiatrist
Bud Cort - Harold

“Fun is overrated.”
Oliver Platt - Fulvio Nesstra

“You should get a date, you should have a martini, you should drive with the top down, you should better yet give a tired old widow a break.”

Shirley MacLaine - Tess Carlisle

“- Frank: Ever tried hustlin'?
- Juan: Frank, give me a break, man.
- Frank: I'm serious. Lots of rich, lonely people out there. Lots of horny society ladies and businessmen with company...”
Ray Sharkey - Frank
Robert Beltran - Juan

“- Mark: Do you know what you did?
- Henry: Come on. We did it together.
- Mark: You could have killed people.
- Henry: With your help.
- Mark: I didn't know you were going to do that.
- Henry: I feel sorry for you, Mark. You just don't know how to have fun.”

Elijah Wood - Mark
Macaulay Culkin - Henry