“I better get to the little girlsroom before I soak my panties. By that I mean, my girlfriends panties... which I carry with me.... To pee in... In case I dont make it in time, to the bathroom. What, you dont pee in your girlfriends panties? What kind of gay club is this? Hey everybody, check this guy out! not peeing in his girlfriends panties.”

Rob Schneider - Jessica

“- Old Cajun Man: [In a muffled back water accent] Home is where you make it.
- Joe Dirt: What?
- Old Cajun Man: Home is where you make it.
- Joe Dirt: You like to see homos naked?”
Blake Clark - Old Cajun Man
David Spade - Joe Dirt

“Well, fuck me! No, no, I don't mean... I just mean... fuck me, but not... well what I mean is...”

Brad Gorton - John Dixon

“- Rainbow Randolph: He's a pillow-biter, you know.
- Sheldon Mopes: I wouldn't know anything about his sleeping disorders.”
Robin Williams - Rainbow Randolph
Edward Norton - Sheldon Mopes

“- Paul Hackett: Excuse me. Could you - it's okay - could you help me? Please help me.
- Street Pickup: What do you want me to do?
- Paul Hackett: Where do you live? Can you take me - can you take me home?
- Street Pickup: There's certain things that I - I - I will not do. I'm telling you in advance.”
Griffin Dunne - Paul Hackett
Robert Plunket - Street Pickup