“- DC Cop: The Feds are looking for him, too. Real nice business he's got?
- Agent Fox Mulder: What's that?
- DC Cop: Sellingnakedpictures of little kids on his computer. You looking for him for some other reason?
- Agent Fox Mulder: Yeah. I had an appointment for a pelvic examination.”

Larry Joshua - DC Cop
David Duchovny - Agent Fox Mulder

“My doctor totally messes up my nose job. I ask him to make me looked like Gwyneth Paltrow, I get off the surgery table looking life freakin' Shrek.”
Shawn Wayans - Kevin Copeland

- Dr. Kersten: Funky, buttloving!
- George: Did he say "funky buttloving?"
Ross Lehman - Dr. Kersten
Patrick LaBrecque - George

“- Eugene G. Roe: You're a good nurse.
- Renee Lemaire: No. I never want to treat another wounded man again. I'd rather work in a butcher's shop.”
Shane Taylor - Eugene G. Roe
Lucie Jeanne - Renee Lemaire

“I'm a doctor, not a space explorer.”
Heather Graham - Dr. Judy Robinson