“- Julian Noble: An assassin without confidence is a horrible thing to behold. It's like a relief pitcher who fumbles the ball.
- Danny Wright: Please tell me you know you mixed two sports in a metaphor.”
Pierce Brosnan - Julian Noble
Greg Kinnear - Danny Wright

“- Teenager: Are you gonna take me to jail for car theft?
- Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: Why? Did you steal the car?
- Teenager: I sure did.
- Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: Well, I'm not even sure that's a crime anymore. There've been a lot of changes in the law.”
David W. Harper - Teenager
Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher

“Disturbing the peace? I got thrown out of a window! What's the fuckin' charge for getting pushed out of a moving car, huh? Jaywalking?”

Eddie Murphy - Axel Foley

“- Paul Cater: I didn't get this car, I stole it. That's a felony.
- Lurene Hallett: Well it shouldn't be if it can't go over forty!”
Dennis Haysbert - Paul Cater
Michelle Pfeiffer - Lurene Hallett

“- David Starsky: I like your Lincoln.
- Huggy Bear: It's a '76. Won't be out 'til next year. But I know some people that know some people that robbed some people.”
Ben Stiller - David Starsky
Snoop Dogg - Huggy Bear