“- Laura: All Neal told him was that Santa was more of a feeling. More of a state of mind than an actual person.
- Scott Calvin: Kind of like Neal.”

Wendy Crewson - Laura
Tim Allen - Scott Calvin

“- Boy: Santa doesn't drink champagne. Santa only drinks milk.
- George: Listen. Santa can't drink no more milk. Santa has a lactose intolerance, and it gives him horrible gas pains. Do you want to see Santa farting down everybody's chimney?”
Bill Raymond - George

“Maybe Santa won't come back next year. Maybe he and the Easter Bunny will take a fuckin' cruise to Jamaica and you can eat your own lousy cookies!”
Bill Raymond - George

“- Katya: You have bewitched my family. My children think all you British are Santa Claus in beautiful tweed clothes.
- Barley: There's no Santa Claus. Nobody is what it seems. Except you.”
Michelle Pfeiffer - Katya
Sir Sean Connery - Barley

“- Davenport: You'll just fall asleep and then you'll see Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.
- Brian: I don't believe in Santa Claus.
- Dr. Carter: What? You don't believe in Santa?”
Lissa Layng - Davenport
Chance Boyer - Brian
Geoffrey Lewis - Dr. Carter