“- Max Reede: Is wrestling real?
- Fletcher Reede: In the Olympics, yes. On channel 23, no.”
Justin Cooper - Max Reede
Jim Carrey - Fletcher Reede

“For years the government has been wisely coercing teenagers to buy products they normally wouldn't want, just to get their money.”
Eugene Levy - Eugene Levy

“Kids today aren't dumb. They're not gonna buy just anything. That's why the government has been planting small subliminal advertising suggestions in today's rock music.”
Eugene Levy - Eugene Levy

The new slogan now is "Diamonds: Render her speechless". Why don't they just go ahead and say it? "Diamonds: That'll shut her up... for a minute".

Ron White - Ron White

“Coca-Cola is by far the world's number one soft drink and they spend more money than anybody on advertising. I guess that's how come they stay number one.”
Reese Witherspoon - Tracy Flick