“My wife loves it when I have to take a cab home because I'm too intoxicated to drive.”
Aasif Mandvi - Aash

“Ignore her. She's drunk. At least I hope she is. Otherwise I'm in real trouble.”

Timothy Walker - Angus the Groom - Wedding One

“- Chris Cutter: She's okay, she's just tired.
- Brandon Foley: It's nice that you're lying to me but we both know she's shitface.
- Chris Cutter: Yeah, you'll take care of her?
- Brandon Foley: Got to, she's the only mom I've got.”
Paul Gross - Chris Cutter
Connor Price - Brandon Foley

“If you love your wife, my advice is be nice to her. Bring in the wood before she asks you for it. If she is cold, then put a shawl around her shoulders. And bring her a flower every time you come back from the field.”
Sir John Hurt - Dr. Iannis

“One thing I could never stand was to see a filthy, dirty old drunkie, howling away at the filthy songs of his fathers and going blurp in between as it might be a filthy old orchestra in his stinking, rotten guts.”
Malcom McDowell - Alex (A Clockwork Orange)