“- Dr. Cardigan: What a wonderful contribution to science your brain would make, Mr. Chan!
- Charlie Chan: Thank you so much, but for present would prefer to keep same for own use.”
George Zucco - Dr. Cardigan
Sidney Toler - Charlie Chan

“Ladies and gentlemen, I can envision a day when the brains of brilliant men can be kept alive in the bodies of dumb people.”
Steve Martin - Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr

“- Olsen: Doctor, were you interested in science as a child?
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: I don't know if I was interested so much in the science as I was in the slime that goes along with it. Snakes and frogs. When I saw how slimy the human brain was, I knew that's what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.”
Francis X. McCarthy - Olsen
Steve Martin - Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr

“Their brains weren't large enough to harvest sufficient amounts of the protein complex. So we violated the Harvard Compact. Jim and I used gene therapies to increase their brain mass. A larger brain means more protein. As a side effect the sharks got smarter.”

Saffron Burrows - Dr. Susan McAlester

“If I ever see him again, I'm going to cut open his head and eat his brain.”
Dennis Hopper - Deacon