“- Fireman: You know, it's against the law to burn anything except trash in your yard.
- Bernadine Harris: [flicks off ashes from her cigarette] It is trash.”
Graham Galloway - Fireman
Bernadine Harris - Bernadine Harris

“- John Gustafson: I'm cold.
- Max Goldman: Here's some matches. Set yourself on fire.”
Jack Lemmon - John Gustafson
Walter Matthau - Max Goldman

“- Inga: Where did you get all these scars?
- Luke: Well, let's see. Skateboard... Truck accident... Fire hydrant.
- Inga: I bet each one has its own exciting story, no?
- Luke: No, not really. I skateboarded off of a truck into a fire hydrant.”
Victoria Silvstedt - Inga
Zach Galifianakis - Luke

“- Cornwall: Come on, baby, light my fire...
- Devon: You know, there's nothing more pathetic than a flame-retarded dragon.”

Don Rickles - Cornwall
Eric Idle - Devon

“- Sue Storm: You don't want to walk around on fire for the rest of your life, do you?
- Johnny Storm: Is that a trick question?”
Jessica Alba - Sue Storm
Chris Evans - Johnny Storm