- Jonah: What was I supposed to say? "Yes, Walter, I am sort of fucking your wife"?
- Lonnie Fox: Is that what we're doing, sort of fucking?
Paul Simon - Jonah
Joan Hackett - Lonnie Fox

“Just forget you ever saw it. It's better that way.”

Billy Ray Cyrus - Gene

“You kissed him! At My Parents’ house! On my wedding day!”
Cameron Diaz - Kimberly Wallace

- John: I used to be married, but not anymore.
- Sadie: Is your wife with Jesus now?
- John: Actually, the guy's name was pronounced "Hey-soos”. He was the gardner, and one day I caught him spreading some fertilizer around the bedroom, if you know what I mean.
Paul Giamatti - John
Phyllis Applegate - Sadie

“If he's stupid enough to cheat, the world should know he's dumb enough to get caught.”
Eva Mendes - Sara