“Being a private eye may not be much, but we do have a code of honor. It's all right to fool around with your partner's wife, but once he's dead it makes it all so dirty.”
Peter Falk - Lou Peckinpaugh

“From bodily fluids and hair samples, we've determined that a bunch of old homeless dudes had an orgy in there.”
Peter R. Thewes - Hazmat Officer

“- Carl: Do we know if they're sleeping together. Is there proof?
- Laura: I need more time.
- Glen: They're humping too quick to get pictures. Let's get a better detective!”
Ed Begley Jr. - Carl
Khandi Alexander - Laura
Jere Burns - Glen

“- CityTV: Excuse me. That thing doesn't look so fantastic.
- Reed Richards: Ben Grimm is a genuine American hero.
- Johnny Storm: What he means is, every team needs a mascot.”

Terry David Mulligan - CityTV
Ioan Gruffudd - Reed Richards
Chris Evans - Johnny Storm

“- Daffy Duck: How's this for a new team name: The Ducks!
- Bugs Bunny: Please! What kind of Mickey Mouse organization would name their team The Ducks?”
Dee Bradley Baker - Daffy Duck
Billy West - Bugs Bunny