“- Bullet-Tooth Tony: Do you want to shoot him?
- Cousin Avi: That's a little noisy, isn't it?
- Bullet-Tooth Tony: Well, do you want to stab him?
- Cousin Avi: Well, that's a little cold-blooded, isn't it?
- Bullet-Tooth Tony: Do you want to kill him, or not?”
Vinnie Jones - Bullet-Tooth Tony
Dennis Farina - Cousin Avi

“- Lenny Feder: Lamonsoff, it's 5 in the morning. Can you kill the dog now?
- Eric Lamonsoff: Thinking about it.”
Adam Sandler - Lenny Feder
Kevin James - Eric Lamonsoff

“- Grandfather Disguisey: When you were on the roof, did you hear something like this?
[Slaps Pistachio]
- Pistachio Disguisey: Yes exactly that! But without the pain on my face. We have a clue!”
Harold Gould - Grandfather Disguisey
Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey

“A shovel just makes too goddamned much racket.”
J. T. Walsh - Charles Bushman

“- Anna Harrison: How come Isabel screams during sex?
- Jackie Harrison: How do you know she screams during sex?
- Anna Harrison: I live in the same country.”
Jena Malone - Anna Harrison
Susan Sarandon - Jackie Harrison