“- Motorcycle Cop: Where's the fire?
- Dallas: [lying] This kid fell off his motorcycle, I'm taking him to the hospital.
- Motorcycle Cop: Is he hurt bad?
- Dallas: How should I know? I ain't no doc.
[Motorcycle Cop goes away]”

Ed Jackson - Motorcycle Cop
Matt Dillon - Dallas Winston

- Walter Crow Horse: License and registration?
- Ray Levoi: Kiss my ass.
- Walter Crow Horse: Hey, this is my jurisdiction now. And you were going 59 in a 55 zone.
- Ray Levoi: Let me see the radar.
- Walter Crow Horse: I don't need no radar, I can tell! I just listen to the wind; it said, "fifty-nine, nail him!".
Graham Greene - Walter Crow Horse
Val Kilmer - Ray Levoi

“- Corky Romano: I never thought I'd live to see the day that an FBI agent would be peddling smack.
- Agent Brick Davis: Don't act so surprised. J. Edgar Hoover used to wear a dress.
- Corky Romano: Just tell me why, Brick.
- Agent Brick Davis: I don't know. I suppose it made him feel sexy.
- Corky Romano: Not Hoover. You!”
Chris Kattan - Corky Romano
Matthew Glave - Agent Brick Davis

“In Bay City, when you cross the line, your nuts are mine.”
Ben Stiller - David Starsky

“- Peoples Hernandez: You're not a cop anymore.
- John Shaft: Do you think that makes me less dangerous, or more dangerous?”
Jeffrey Wright - Peoples Hernandez
Samuel L. Jackson - John Shaft