“- Clairee Belcher: I can also report that a mysterious car is parked in her driveway at least once a week.
- Ouiser Boudreaux: There. My secrets out. I'm having an affair with a Mercedes Benz!”
Olympia Dukakis - Clairee Belcher
Shirley MacLaine - Ouiser Boudreaux

“And if you marry me, you get this new car, which has been generously paid by the taxpayers of Whoville.”
Jeffrey Tambor - Mayor Augustus Maywho

“- Martha Phelps: I'm afraid after we're married awhile, a beautiful young girl will come along and you'll forget all about me.
- Wolf J. Flywheel: Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.”
Margaret Dumont - Martha Phelps
Groucho Marx - Wolf J. Flywheel

“He married you to pass that date. For the same reason that I married my little American and with the same ring. Just take a look inside at the engraving.”

Paulette Goddard - Anita Dixon

“- Natalie Strout: You don't change, do you?
- Richard Strout: Change? No, I don't change. Everything around me changes. You change. You take my house... and you take my kids... and you fuck this other guy. But me, no, I don't change.”
Marisa Tomei - Natalie Strout
William Mapother - Richard Strout